Tag: writing

  • New Hair

    Hello, Lavenders.

    How’s everyone doing?

    I finally cut my hair. It had grown past my ribs, long enough to start feeling uncomfortable. The salon near my college charges too much, so I waited until winter break. Right now, I’m staying with a family friend because I don’t have a set place to call home for the holidays.

    By the time I walked into the salon, my hair looked more like Chewbacca than me. The stylist was surprised by how long it was. Now it’s cut to just above my collarbone, and I feel lighter in more ways than one. It’s strange how a haircut can change the way you see yourself. To celebrate, I treated myself to matcha. Some people say it tastes like grass, but I like it. It gives me the caffeine I need without the bitterness of coffee. I added caramel syrup, which made it taste like a sweet treat. I sat in a wobbly café chair that squeaked whenever I moved. On a normal day, I might have switched to another chair, but because of my lighter hair and lighter mood, I just let it be.

    While I sipped, I watched Adventure Time. Some people might think I’m childish for watching cartoons, but for me, it is my comfort time. And I hope you all also enjoy your personal comfort time regardless of what other people think.

    Hello, Lavenders! Can you believe it’s my third post already?

    How’s everyone doing?

    I finally cut my hair! It was way overdue—so overdue, in fact, that it had grown past my ribs. It felt like carrying a blanket around on my head, which, let me tell you, gets pretty annoying. The salon near my college charges an arm and a leg, so I held off until winter break. Right now, I’m staying with someone I know because I didn’t have anywhere else to go. Winter break can feel a little strange when you don’t have a set place to call home, but I’m grateful for the kindness of others. By the time I got to the salon, my hair looked like something out of a Chewbacca cosplay. (Yeah, laugh it up, I did too.) The stylist took one look and said, “Wow, when’s the last time you saw scissors?” I didn’t realise it was that obvious, but I laughed along, pretending I wasn’t just a little embarrassed. Now my hair’s a little above my collarbone, and I feel so much lighter—literally and figuratively. Funny thing, though. Looking in the mirror afterward, I barely recognised myself. Isn’t it weird how something as simple as a haircut can make you feel like a completely different person? Like you’ve shed a piece of your identity but still stayed…you.

    To celebrate, I decided to treat myself to this fancy green grass drink. It’s not actually grass—relax. It’s powdered green tea that looks like someone blended up a lawn but tastes way better. People call it matcha, but I like to think of it as a magical potion that makes me feel zen and fancy at the same time. I was sitting in this wobbly chair at the café that squeaked every time I moved. But I liked it—it felt like the chair was part of the experience, like it had its own personality. As for the drink? I went all out. I added caramel syrup, so it was extra extra sweet, and I loved it. It felt like drinking a dessert. Smooth, sugary, and over-the-top in the best way possible. As I sipped my green grass potion, I watched Adventure Time. There’s something about Finn and Jake—their childlike curiosity, their big hearts—that makes me feel like life isn’t so bad after all. Their adventures, their innocent hope, the way they see the world—it’s like a small flicker of a Christmas candle. Not enough to light up the whole room, but just enough to make things feel soft and safe. Watching them always makes me feel like, yeah, maybe things are going to be okay.

    P.S. Ever since I moved to college, I can feel my eyesight getting worse, but I’m still not convinced to wear glasses. I kind of like how the world looks a little blurry. It’s the same reason I prefer yellow light over fluorescent light. Fluorescent light shows everything—every crack, every detail. But yellow light softens it. And I think it’s okay to see the world that way.

    Thank you for stopping by my little lavender field.

    God bless and goodbye!

    ~Rue

  • Merry Christmas

    Merry Christmas, Lavenders! (Lavender is my favourite flower, so I thought it would be nice to call my internet friends by that name. Let me know what you think!)

    How was your day? Mine felt warm. This morning, I went to church. We praised the Lord, shared gifts, and enjoyed delicious food (though I didn’t get a gift—those were mostly for the younger kids. I guess I’m not a kid anymore, haha). Other than the church event, my day was quiet. After I came back, I tried to watch a film but didn’t finish it. Instead, I ended up daydreaming. I should tell you—I love daydreaming. It’s my favourite hobby. Some might find it odd, but I enjoy getting lost in my thoughts, staring out the window and letting my mind wander.

    As a child, I spent a lot of time feeling alone. I didn’t have many friends or family around (it was always just me and my dad), so I stayed inside my head. It felt safer that way. When the world outside felt distant, my imagination became the place I could go to feel less lonely. Now, at 19, I still go back to that place. It’s changed a little, but the feeling is the same. It’s where I go when life feels heavy or when I need to catch my breath. You might wonder what I daydreamed about today. But I think we’re not quite close enough for me to share that yet. Maybe next time, haha. I’m being mysterious, aren’t I?

    One thing I feel a little sad about is not having a Christmas cake this year (and yes, my sweet tooth is feeling the loss). But then I remind myself—there are many people out there who don’t even have a warm meal, so I won’t complain. I do wish I could have spent today at home with my dad, but being in college, far from home in another country, makes that difficult. I suppose this is part of growing up.

    After dinner, I went for a walk around the neighbourhood. I wanted to see the Christmas decorations, to decide which house was the best. But as I walked, I realised it wasn’t about choosing. Every house sparkled in its own way, each one lit with care and love. The lights shimmered in the dark, like little whispers of hope. I looked up at the sky and thought—I hope God sees this. I hope, from heaven, it makes His heart sparkle the way it makes ours.

    Today we celebrate His birth, and I’m reminded of the hope and love He brings into the world. No matter how lost I feel or how uncertain life becomes, knowing He is with me makes everything feel a little lighter.

    There’s a lot on my mind that I’d love to share. But I’ll keep it short for now because if I say too much today, what will I have to say tomorrow? Haha.

    As a poor college student, I have nothing else to give for Christmas, but I do have a song recommendation: I’m With You by Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross. I hope you like it. If you do, then you’re my buddy now—and that makes me happy!

    Have a cosy time with the rest of your holidays~

    God bless and goodbye!

    ~Rue